tomorrow I am getting a new phone and I am really excited about it
So there's only one channel in this motel,
madeofmetals: This morning while I was getting ready I was watching Sesame Street. They were doing this bit where some clown was trying to wash his hands but kept washing his feet or his elbows and Elmo would go, “no mister noodle, your HANDS!” and all the tv kids would laugh. Around the fourth or fifth time he couldn’t find his hands, I heard a grown man yell from somewhere else in the motel,...
badcgijosh: Basically if you can’t let yourself enjoy listening to Justin Bieber it honestly and truly gives me a pretty fair read on whether or not I’d like being in the same room as you
nedroidcomics: Tonight on Twitter I pondered what Seinfeld would be like if it had aired in the internet era. Here were my ideas for easy reading: Jerry breaks up with a woman because of her unflattering Twitter avatar ”Jerry, Kramer’s reblogging me and removing my original tags!” “C’mon George, it’s the internet! Information wants to be *free*!” Uncle Leo doesn’t understand email, wants...
zacwells: zacwells: i’m gonna put a sweater on my cat
josiahfiles: zacwells: josiahfiles: zacwells: i’m gonna put on all my sweaters i did that once all sweaters only sweaters that last one wouldn’t fit on SWEATER OLLIES OUT
cruisecontrolforcool replied to your post: the entirety of both of my arms are on fire I hate… aloe aloe aloe I have this stuff that has lidocaine in it as well but my sunburn is pretty bad and it only helps for a little bit at a time
Your Sarcastic Guide To Alleged Plot Holes In 'The... →
popculturebrain: Well-done counter argument.
josiahfiles: zacwells: i’m gonna put on all my sweaters i did that once all sweaters only sweaters
yrelectricsurgeissweet: hnnhlcy: Hmm.. it’s funny how the only two big roles played by christian bale (the batman and patrick bateman) are so similar… batman vs bateman. what’s that i hear…? small acting range…? i think so! it’s called variety bale! get with the program! smh.. it seems these Christians can’t do anything right…
the entirety of both of my arms are on fire I hate sunburn I want to end my life
Anonymous asked: I have unfollowed 6 people for spoiling the olympics
davemau5: congrats to every single olympic athlete because they’re all winners in the event of making me feel inadequate in every way
I’m just saying, if Kristen Stewart’s life and career are ruined by this bizarre cheating scandal while Chris Brown continues to make money, we have failed as a society and everyone should feel deeply ashamed of ourselves.
Women invented all the core technologies that made civilization possible. This...– from a post by Reclusive Leftist on women’s erasure in history. her comments relate specifically to an article by the NYT thanking “the men” who invented modern technology, but pick absolutely any academic field of study, and women’s contributions are minimized, if not outright ignored. ...
This does also remind me of the season that we’re in. Jim Messina tells this...– President Barack Obama—told at a fund-raiser in New York on Monday. via Lynn Sweet (via brooklynmutt)
yrelectricsurgeissweet: Everyone knows cops perceive the world by tasting the air and feeling vibrations in the earth and that’s why I only do aerial crimes like throwing rocks at church bells to make them ring on NOT the hour and convincing the little mermaid of how cool legs are. Wait that’s an ariel crime. Hundreds of cops slithering toward me.
my birthday is in 4 days in 4 days I will be 20 years old that’s weird I feel weird
gulpereel replied to your post: today was just really weird and I am not feeling… Maree Ihope you are feeling okay! Are you hanging out with Crystal? I don’t want to go back. Every time I go back I get anxious because I’m going to be alone again. And I was just thinking about how we’ve all spent almost every day with each other fo gulpereel replied to your post: today was just really...
daniel: did you hear they're making 13 Hobbit movies?
me: I heard they were making 30.
daniel: I heard every movie from now on is going to be about hobbits.
just came across a tag that said “yes i’m a girl and i’m obsessed with football” and I had to struggle to keep from vomiting
today was just really weird and I am not feeling like myself right now, like I need a little solitude to pull myself together or something except I’m never alone and I’m doing stuff with my friend tomorrow and I really want to see her because we haven’t gotten to just hang out in a really long time but I also just want to stay in bed all day and not talk to anyone
apriki: why is there even a medal in gymnastics give them all awards for even being able to do that ridiculous shit at all
josiahfiles: If I could ponify images on my tv I would replace all the Olympic gymnasts with horses