you know how sometimes you get into this horrible mood where you become convinced that nothing is ever going to go right in your life

I was in the car on Monday and that feeling hit me like a brick wall and I was stuck in a car but I was restless and it was the worst feeling but then I dug out a notebook and a pen and I just wrote for a few minutes, everything I was thinking, and it was better, the feeling sort of melted away after a little while

the bad part is that I don’t know if that was only how I felt at the height of my emotion or if it’s just what I keep tucked away in order to keep myself from worrying about things more than I do but it was weird because a lot of it is stuff that I think a lot but never really let out because I don’t like people worrying about me

I could say that I’m admitting things to myself but it’s not as deep as that; I got it out and I forgot about it and I don’t want to look back at those pages because I’m afraid of what it will unleash

I’m more forthcoming in print than I will ever be in person

I don’t know how to feel about that

Jul. 11 2012
2 notes

Notes

  1. thebergeronprocess said: I have been struggling with these feelings for a while now. I’m on medication now to maybe try and regulate them. It’s good to know I’m not alone.
  2. thisisanangstblog posted this